


In Good Taste or Why Baron Zemo Was Not in CA: TFA

by tinkertoysdamn



Category: Captain America: The First Avenger
Genre: Crack, Gen, Wine
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-06
Updated: 2013-04-06
Packaged: 2017-12-07 16:52:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/750813
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinkertoysdamn/pseuds/tinkertoysdamn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Answer to a Captain America Kink Meme Prompt:  So when seeing CA:tFA again for the third time (it was my birthday, okay, even though I'm really sick and the experience was borderline hallucinogenic) I noticed that in one scene Red Skull appears to be drinking from a bottle of HYDRA-branded... something. Now, logically I know it's probably something like the schnapps Erskine gave Steve from his hometown, just rebranded more <i>eeeevilly</i>, but the concept of HYDRA having its own fancy winery is way funnier than it should be to me right now. Do it, anons, everything you write will be outrageously amusing to me right now anyway.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In Good Taste or Why Baron Zemo Was Not in CA: TFA

The dining room was set with the finest that the mansion had to offer. Suckling pig, pheasant and other delicacies covered the table in a rich tapestry of gastronomic decadence. Though Schmidt was hardly a humble man, he knew that there were other members of Hydra’s elite who made him seem austere in comparison. And as head of his organization, he could not afford to disappoint.

Once everyone had arrived, the talk and the wine flowed freely. The evening had been going smoothly, until Baron Zemo, the purple caped fop, took his first sip of the wine.

“Ugh!” he cried out, spitting the offending wine to the floor. “What is this swill?”

“It is the mansion’s own vintage. There is a large vineyard on the grounds,” Schmidt explained.

The Baron choked back a cough. “This is foul. It has already soured to vinegar. Tell me we will not be subjugated to this filthy excuse for libation.”

Schmidt shook his head. “Until we get in new stock, this is all that we have.”

“Unacceptable!” Baron Zemo struck his glass upon the ground. “This is obviously the product of an inferior grape. I will dedicate my life to breeding a new variety of super-grape! Our wine will be the best in the New World Order!” The Baron snapped a salute. “Heil Hydra!”

The rest of the room called out in chorus. “Heil Hydra!”

Baron Zemo whipped his cape around himself and stormed from the room. As the door slammed shut, Schmidt turned to address the crowd. “Good, that should keep him busy for the rest of the war. Now, on to business.”


End file.
